“Love, I fall too easily
Or women drag me
Like a magnetic pull
Love just happens always
Writing songs, poems too
They are stars to me
Each a unique mystery
Love is weird but true
When only she is around, oh
Everything else disappears
At other times, when you come
I dedicate myself, all yours
Loving em all, not a game
I’m what I’m, there’s no shame”
As a homo-romantic polyamorous person, I keep falling in love with women. Discovering myself by feeling emotions directional towards more than one woman, I am amazed as well. No, not at all because of any pejorative reasons. I just ponder how different can be forms of love. The enigma of love and how queer it can be!
As a child, I constantly saw love as an emotion possible between two souls only. Consequently, I too delved into the search for a mono-amorous relationship. But, I started my exploration in a very polysexual nature. Couldn’t emotionally connect to men, whereas women stole pieces of my heart. I was 18, when I realized that I can feel for multiple women at the same time. And, it just happened naturally, just the way love happens. After falling deeply in love with a woman during college, I followed the norms of any mono-amorous relationship. And, it was definitely one of my best phases of life so far.
During University campus life, it all took a quite different turn. I started feeling for other women. I won’t say all were strong emotions, but I admired them for sure. Not mentioning who they are, I would rather talk more about my feelings. Crafting songs, singing for them, stargazing, adoring the moon, admiring them sleep or talk or walk, making love, dedicating poems, collecting seashells, sharing a beer or kissing them – I don’t regret doing any of these things. And I am glad that my heart couldn’t escape their magick.
Though, I am in a complicated network of love (it’s true), but everything has made me a better person. And, falling again and again without possessiveness is undoubtedly one of the best feelings. 21st century’s claim could be being sexually liberated, I feel there’s definitely something more than meets our eyes. I don’t know how exactly it is going to be in future but I am confident enough if we believe in ourselves, nothing can ever go wrong! (as long as it’s mutual, consensual and not hurting others)
I know that society often tags us as characterless, hypersexual, lustful and what not. But, don’t feel low because it is not your problem, it is their problem of acceptance. There are billions of humans and love is a strange mystery which encompasses us like nothing else. Moreover, polyamory and polygamous relationships are prevalent in almost all species of this world. I strongly feel that even human beings are naturally polyamorous and/or polysexual. No wonder, why many monogamous relationships doesn’t last too long.
If you think you are polyamorous or polysexual or both, don’t judge. And, don’t let orthodox peers stay in your friend circle. Always be with people who will understand you and wish you well. There is nothing better than being one’s authentic self and to be happy.
|| Love yourself, love others
Banish hate not love of any kind
Our spiral of souls, love is true
Have pride in yourself, and be YOU. ||
Graphic by Taarini Das